The Untitled St Hummel Slashfic
by GeniaTheParadox
Summary: Kurt/Jesse smuttiness. I'm not entirely sure how to summarise this fic, but lets just say that you may never be able to look at the piano in the McKinley High choir room in quite the same way again. There really isn't enough St. Hummel in the world...
1. Piano

**Rated M for a very, very good reason. In other words, lots of sexy times. **

I'm not entirely sure when this is set, but that's not important.

There needs to be more Kurt/Jesse in the world... just saying.

_Review, review, review, Humble Readers_

Oh yeah, and obviously I don't own Glee. Let's be realistic here.

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**The Untitled St. Hummel Slashfic**

"But what about Rachel?" I managed to blurt out as Jesse's mouth latched onto my neck.

"What about her?" he said breathlessly, in between biting and sucking on my skin.

Thank God I own so many scarves to cover up the marks he was surely going to leave.

I momentarily lost my train of thought as Jesse trailed his lips up my jaw before kissing me deeply. Why did he have to be so hot? He was making it very difficult for me to feel guilty about this.

"Don't act like you don't want it, Hummel," he said against my lips.

I moaned as his thigh rubbed against the steadily growing hard on in my jeans.

"If we're going to do this," I said. "You could at least call me by my first name."

He just chuckled as he continued to explore my mouth with his tongue, nibbling on my lower lip.

I wasn't even sure how I ended up in this situation – making out with Jesse St. James in the deserted choir room – but here I was, backed into the piano with the ex-Vocal Adrenaline star ravishing me. Jesse's experienced hands roaming over my body had kind of clouded my mind of any details.

I could feel his hands snaking up my Cheerios top and I couldn't help but shiver. His fingers grazed my very sensitive nipples as, at the same time, his other hand trailed down my body and grabbed my ass. He laughed again as I gasped, before lifting my top over my head completely and throwing it aside. I did the same to his black t-shirt and began to kiss and bit his neck. The way he moaned in response was so hot, and also very gratifying. I'd never done this with anyone before so it was nice to know that I was doing it right.

"Oh Kurt," his whispered as he kissed all over my face and my neck and my shoulders. "I've wanted this... I've wanted _you_... since the moment I laid eyes on you. You're... _so_... hot."

He flipped me around quite suddenly so that my hands were flat against the piano and started kissing the back of my neck. His hand moved to my crouch, palming my erection and taking my breath away. I could hear him undoing his belt and unzipping his jeans, and quite suddenly my red track pants had been pulled down along with my underwear. I turned around to see him to see him sucking on his fingers. Oh my God, this was actually going to happen. Jesse and I were actually going to –

I never got a chance to finish that thought as I felt moist fingers entering me. I cried out and leaned down on the piano a little more. Jesse rubbed my back with his other hand, as he moved his fingers in and out, scissoring them to stretch me out. It felt good, in a really strange kind of way_._

"Ready for me, baby?" he said.

I couldn't really form any words so all I did was nod. Suddenly I felt something huge pressing against my opening, entering me slowly but not slowly enough. _Fuck..._ it hurt like hell. I mean, this wasn't the first time I'd had anything up there. I'd practiced with my fingers and that dildo that I very discreetly ordered off of the internet. But this was a lot different. For starters, Jesse was _huge_. Not just long but really thick too. I could understand why he was so arrogant now. He was handsome, talented _and_ hung like a fucking horse. I'd be arrogant too. Also, he really wasn't giving me any time to get used to him being inside me, so the pain was sort of outweighing the pleasure.

This really wasn't how I had pictured my first time to be – bent over a piano, roughly taken in the middle of the school choir room where anyone could walk in and catch us. In my head it was always a lot more gentle and romantic. I was made love to as opposed to fucked, like what Jesse was doing to me right that second. But, once I got a little used to it, I would have been lying if I said that it didn't suddenly feel incredible.

Jesse pounded into me so hard that the piano was moving with us. It was still sort of painful, but now that pain felt good. The fact that it hurt was just making the pleasure even more intense. He was holding onto my hips so tightly that it would probably leave bruises, but I really didn't care. I was too busy begging him not to stop and to fuck me harder to worry about that. Oh God, I never wanted him to stop. _Please, don't stop..._

I could feel myself edging ever closer to my climax as his thrusts started to become fast and erratic. His fingernails dug into my skin so hard that I wouldn't have been surprising if it drew blood as he grunted and moaned in ecstasy. That added bit of pain just made it feel even better. I wanted more of this, more and more and _more! _I was _so close._ I was clinging onto the piano for dear life as Jesse literally fucked me senseless. His huge, think cock kept on hitting that same sweet spot inside me, making me fall apart completely. I felt his hand reach around to grab hold of my aching cock and start to rub in time with his hard thrusts. Oh fuck, it felt so good!

"Come for me, baby," he practically growled.

All it took was that command for my whole body to start quivering. I came hard into his hand with a silent scream, so hard that I thought I was going to pass out. About a second later Jesse cried out my name as he came, thrusting into me until he was completely spent.

I was sprawled out on top of the piano, my whole body damp with sweat. I used the small amount of energy I had left to turn my head and watch as Jesse licked my come off of his fingers. It was probably the sexiest thing I had ever seen.

Once we were cleaned up and fully clothed again, all the guilt that I had been struggling to feel earlier suddenly came crashing down on me. I had just had sex with Jesse St. James. I had just had sex with _Rachel's boyfriend._ In the middle of the choir room where anyone could have seen us. Oh my God.

"What's wrong?" he asked, noticing the look of horror that was probably on my face.

"Oh, nothing," I said, pretending to be casual. "Just feeling incredible guilty. And I'm never going to be able to look at this piano with a straight face again."

Jesse chuckled, resting his hands on my now very sore hips. The pain felt good before, but now it just... hurt.

"It'll certainly make rehearsals more interesting," he laughing. I couldn't help but laugh a little too. Why did he have to be so gorgeous?

"What about Rachel?" I said once our laughter died down.

Jesse frowned and said "I won't lie to you, Kurt. My relationship with Rachel is a sham, but not for the reason that you all think. You know what it's like living in this town; the prejudice and harassment that the minuscule gay community of Lima receive. As happy and musically compatible as Rachel and I are, she was only ever a cover to get close to you."

"Really?" I said quietly, resting my hands on his chest.

He nodded, gently brushing my hair out of my face. "Oh, absolutely. I saw you singing at Sectionals and you were the most beautiful person on stage. I knew I had to be with you, I was just a little nervous to approach you outright."

"You didn't seem that nervous earlier," I said, smirking.

"I didn't hear you complaining," he purred seductively.

Well, that was true. He rested his forehead against my own, holding me tighter.

"Don't worry, baby," he said quietly. "You don't need to feel guilty. Everything is going to be fine."

It was impossible not to believe him as his lips descended on mine for a soft, sweet, heart-melting kiss, so much more romantic than how he had kissed me before. When we separated he smiled and wrapped his arms around me, holding me close. So much for feeling guilty about this...

_As I held Kurt in my arms, I knew that my plan had come together even better than I thought. I didn't think that he would be this easy to manipulate, so I was pleasantly surprised. It was also remarkably easy to get into his pants. Even after weeks of buttering her up, that poorly dressed, eternally frigid Rachel Berry wouldn't go any further than the occasional make out session in her garishly decorated bedroom (seriously, her room looked like somewhere Sesame Street characters would go to hook up. It was painful just being in there). I barely had to do anything to get Kurt to give it up to me. I guess he was more desperate and lonely than I thought. I also couldn't quite believe that he liked it so rough. I mean, I certainly wasn't complaining, but who would have thought it?_

_This was going to destroy New Directions. It was bad enough when I got with Rachel. But at least Kurt would be better at talking me up to the rest of that mediocre club, seeing as they actually like him. Maybe I could convince him to join Vocal Adrenaline. We could certainly use his unique vocal range, and he and I would be stars, the ultimate power couple of Carmel High. And I'd have that sweet ass all to myself. _

_And when Rachel finds out about Kurt and I, she'll be so crushed that she won't be able to stand it and leave, thus rendering New Directions no more. A genius plan, I know. _

_Ah, speak of the devil. While I held my Kurt, I stole a glance at the door and saw Rachel herself standing there at the doorway, staring through the glass with a look of utmost horror and pain etched across her face. How perfect! I wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, but that didn't matter. I smirked at her, before pulling away from Kurt and capturing those soft, gorgeous lips in a kiss. He sighed, wrapping his arms around my neck, as I very carefully turned him so that his back was to the choir room door. I kissed him a little deeper, opening my eyes to look directly at Rachel. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss as I saw her cover her mouth with her hands and burst into tears before running away, probably to go cry in the girls' bathroom or something. Fantastic. _

_I shut my eyes and focused on kissing my Kurt, feeling even more pleased with myself than usual. Oh yes, everything was going according to plan. _

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I hope you enjoyed!

I've never written anything from Jesse's POV before, so I hope that the italic half of this fic sounded good :)  
Wow, I've made Jesse into such a bastard...  
And, don't get me wrong, I _love_ Rachel. All be it in a 'would-never-want-to-know-her-in-real-life' kind of way. So I do feel kind of bad for giving her such a hard time in this fic, but... you know.

Anyways, enough of my rambling. Pretty please review, Humble Readers. **Reviews are love :)**

xxx


	2. Break Up

The second installment to my St. Hummel smut, which isn't nearly as smutty as the last one.  
This one maining deals with Rachel's reaction to it all.

Oh, and the bits in italics are Jesse's POV.

**Reviews are love!**

I still don't own Glee. Clearly. Although, owning Chris Colfer and Jonathan Groff would be heavenly :)

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**St. Hummel Smut Part Two**

Jesse said that we should keep our relationship under wraps for a while. I wasn't particularly happy about it, but he said that he wanted to clear the air with Rachel first and he also knew how all those Neanderthal jocks would react and he didn't want me getting hurt.

"They could do whatever they want to me," he had said. "But I just wouldn't be able to live with myself if they so much as laid a finger on you, baby."

I was amazed at how sweet and caring and romantic he could be, especially since our first sexually encounter hadn't been any of those things (I still had bruises on my hips to prove it). Not that I was complaining or anything, it had been incredible.

I had always thought that he was just over-confident, arrogant and conceited. It turned out that, as well as being all of those things, he was also amazingly generous and loving. It was weird. All I would have to do was look at him and I would totally forget all of the guilt that I was feeling about being with him in the first place. Even though I obviously couldn't stand Rachel, I still felt like such a terrible person for stealing Jesse from her. But he said that he was going to clear things up with her, and I couldn't help but trust him.

"_How could you do this to me? I thought that you loved me? You selfish... you heartless... you... you bastard!" _

_Here I was once more in Rachel Berry's garishly decorated bedroom, listening to her ramble on at me. Wow, she looked alarming when she was angry. And I though her facial expressions when she sang were frightening. And, on top of all that, she was wearing that damn owl sweater again. Seriously, someone should burn her wardrobe._

_I had only come here to officially break up with her, but she had been yelling at me for the best part of forty-five minutes now. It was hard enough pretending to listen to her at the best of times. _

_I was so glad that I hadn't had this problem with my Kurt. I actually cared about most of the things he talked about and looking at him didn't hurt so much as he knew how to dress and was about a million times prettier than Rachel. He was so adorable. And surprisingly dirty. I still couldn't quite believe how rough he liked it; he had seemed so innocent. But just the thought of him bent over that piano, begging me to fuck him was enough to get me hard in a second. _

_But that was getting a little off topic. I had kind of zoned out of Rachel's rant. I should probably listen to what she was whining about. _

"_Rachel, I think you're overreacting," I said gently. _

"_Overreacting?" she shrieked. "You cheated on me with a guy! With my fellow Glee Clubber who, although I wouldn't consider a friend, is still my teammate! I saw you together! I can't even look at that piano in choir room without wanting to burst into tears! How the hell do you expect me to react?" _

_I groaned internally as I put on my best I-care-about-your-feelings face. _

"_I'm sorry," I said. "Truly, I am. I know it was wrong of me to use you like that."_

"_Oh, please, you're not sorry!" she scoffed. "You saw me! You knew that I was standing right there and you just rubbed it in my face, you heartless pig! I bet this is all part of your master plan to destroy New Directions, isn't it?"_

_Why did everyone always think I was trying to destroy that stupid club? I mean, it was true, but still! _

_Rachel continued to go on at me. "You wanted to break my heart so bad that I would lose the will to sing as well as the will to live, meaning that New Direction wouldn't stand a chance at Regionals. I bet you plan on screwing over Kurt as well, don't you?"_

_Well, I certainly planned on screwing him... _

"_There is no way that I'm going to let you do that to him!" she said. "I'm not going to let you get his hopes up just to have them crushed like mine! I know that I should hate him for carry on this sordid affair with you, but it's _you_ that I hate, Jesse St. James!" _

"_Okay, firstly," I said, trying not to show how amused I was by her tirade. "Kurt and I are not involved in a 'sordid affair'. That time in the choir room was the first time we ever made love; there was nothing sordid about it. And secondly, I care about Kurt a great deal and I would never do anything to hurt him." Unless he asked me to, I continued in my head._

"_But you have no trouble hurting me?" she said, close to tears. _

"_I've already apologised," I said, losing my patience. "Look, I understand that you're not exactly going to give Kurt and I your blessing, but nothing you say is going to break us up. Ours is a love for the ages. You need to learn to accept that."_

_I handed her back that nauseating Care Bear she won for me, the ultimate symbol of the travesty that was our relationship, as she began to cry. _

"_I... I loved you," she whispered through her tears. God, she looked terrible when she cried. _

"_Goodbye, Rachel," I said simply._

_I turned on my heel and left her to weep in that sickening bedroom. That went well. _

We were practicing our scales at Glee Club. Everyone was crowded around the piano, but Jesse and I hung back by the chairs, snickering together at what was probably one of the most inappropriate in-jokes in the world. It was especially funny since Santana was leaning over the piano in almost exactly the same position as I had been not too long ago. It was just too funny. The only thing that was dampening the fun was Rachel's bloodshot eyes burning holes into my skin.

"I thought you cleared things up with her," I whispered.

"I did," said Jesse quietly. "But you know Rachel. It's all about the drama with her. I don't think she's ever going to let this go."

"Still, I really wish she would stop staring at us like that," I replied. "It's really starting to creep me out."

"You and me both, sweetheart," he said.

Rachel was really scaring me. She looked one step away from a screaming rampage. Like she might kill everyone in the room before turning the gun on herself, crying and laughing at the same time. I don't know, maybe I was getting ahead of myself.

After rehearsals, Jesse asked me "Are you doing anything tonight?"

"Erm, not that I'm aware of," I said. "Why?"

"I was thinking maybe you could come over to my house after school," he said with that insanely sexy smile.

I smirked back at him. "I think that can be arranged."

I knew exactly what he had in mind and I couldn't be more pleased about it.

As I was walking out of the choir room, I was suddenly cornered by an alarming looking Rachel. She looked like she hadn't slept in days, her outfit choice was more disastrous than usual and she still had that glint in her eye like an escaped mental patient.

"Don't do it," was all she said, expecting me to know what she was talking about.

"Erm... don't do what exactly?" I said, arching an eyebrow.

"He's just using you," she said intensely. "Using you like he did with me. Stay away from him, Kurt."

Oh, it all made sense now.

"You're talking about Jesse," I said, narrowing my eyes.

"Of course I am," she said, sounding more manic than usual. "I know all about your misguided relationship with him, I know all the lies and tricks he's most likely pulled on you to make you believe that he cares for you, and I know that you should get out of there while you still have the chance. I am trying to protect you, Kurt! You don't want to end up like me, do you?"

"God, no," I said, frowning at her clearly unbrushed hair, rumpled shirt and ghastly salmon pink sweater vest. What, did she get dressed in the dark this morning?

"Then you need to get away from him!" she begged. "He is _poison_, and he will destroy you just like he has destroyed me! It's all part of his evil, vicious plot to ruin New Directions! Please, Kurt! Please don't let him do this to you!"

"Okay, first of all, please take your hands off the Prada," I said, prying her fingers off my shirt that she was clinging to with a vice-like grip. "And secondly, you're clearly taking your break up with Jesse badly. I suggest you go see Ms. Pilsbury. She might be able to help you, as you clearly need all the help you can get."

"W-what?" she stuttered, wide-eyed. ""No, Kurt, you don't understand!"

"I understand completely, Rachel," I said gently. "You're obviously extremely heartbroken and not dealing with it very well. I get it. I just hope that one day you'll be able to get over this and see how your erratic behaviour is doing nothing but make things worse."

"But – but Kurt!" she said, practically on the verge of tears.

"I'm sorry that it's come to this," I said as sympathetically as I could. "I know that you cared about Jesse a lot and it must hurt to see him with me. But the heart wants what the heart wants."

I put my hand on her shoulder supportively as she gapped at me like a goldfish.

"Look, I've got to go, but I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" I said. "Don't forget, Ms. Pilsbury's office is always open."

I left her standing there, staring at the spot where I had just been, looking hurt, confused and as crazy as ever. Poor girl. But I couldn't dwell on her. I needed to get to Jesse's house.

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Hope you enjoyed, St. Hummel Lovers! :D

Rachel is really having a shocker, isn't she? Hopefully you all feel somekind of sympathy towards her. Hopefully. That's what I was aiming for anyways.

Don't forget to review like mad, Humble Readers!

xxx


	3. The Plan

This chapter sees the introduction of Nameless Bitchy Black Girl in VA. I had no idea what her actual name was, so I made one up.  
Oh, and thanks for all the name suggestions from my Tweethearts on Twitter :)

Don't forget to review the pants of this, Humble Readers. Reviews make me happy :D

If I owned Glee it would be a very, very, _very _different show. Trust me.

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**St. Hummel Smut Part Three**

"_Jesse."_

"_Giselle."_

_We walked up to each other until we were stood at the centre of the stage, face to face. In the short time that I had been away I had forgotten just how hot it was under the extra bright spotlights of the Carmel High auditorium. Giselle Turner – the second most talented member of Vocal Adrenaline after me, of course – stood in front of me with her arms folded, clearly undressing me with her eyes, as she always seemed to do when she looked at me. _

"_How is the plan going?" she asked. _

"_Perfectly," I said. "Rachel is so clinically depressed that she all she does at rehearsals is glare me and cry. And I just spent an incredibly erotic night at my house with Kurt. Needless to say he's falling for me more every second."_

_She smirked. "Fantastic."_

"Oh God, Jesse, don't stop! Don't... ahh... don't stop!"

It felt so much better having sex with Jesse on a bed rather than on a piano. I clung onto the headboard as he pounded into me relentlessly, one of his hands holding tightly to my thigh and the other rubbing my cock in time with his thrusts. He was making it hurt, just like I liked it. Don't ask me why I loved him hurting me so much. It just felt really, really good.

"Oh fuck," he moaned. "Ohh, Kurt... so tight... so hot..."

He bent down to sink his teeth into my shoulder, his fingernails digging into my skin, and that was all it took for me to come hard all over both our stomachs, screaming his name. It didn't take long for Jesse to hit his climax too, the sound of his scream muffled by the fact that his mouth was still latched onto my shoulder. As I breathlessly lay underneath him, he kissed his way down my body and licked every last drop of come off my stomach.

We lay together under Jesse's warm Egyptians cotton duvet, his finger's stroking my hair gently as we held each other.

"You know, before I came here Rachel stopped me outside the choir room," I said. "She told me to stay away from you, and that this is all some kind of plot to destroy the Glee Club."

Jesse chuckled. "I do hope you didn't take her seriously, sweetheart."

"Of course not," I said. "I suggested that go see the school guidance counsellor."

I hesitated for a second, before adding "This... this isn't a plot to destroy the Glee Club, is it?"

Jesse shifted so that he could look at me, and said "Of course it's not! I really care about you Kurt, and I like being a part of New Directions. I mean, no one really likes me because I'm from a rival club and I'm considerably more talented than most of them. But I still love being a part of the club. I can tell that you guys genuinely care about what you're doing. In Vocal Adrenaline it was all about beating the competition. There was no heart. We were all just emotionless talent robots. I feel like I get to be myself around all of you."

He stroked my cheek and planted a soft kiss on my lips.

"Don't let Rachel get to you," he said. "She's just jealous of our happiness. I would never do anything to break your heart, baby."

I smiled as he cuddled up to me again. How could I not believe him? Of course Rachel was just trying to come between us. Jesse would never do that to me.

"_You know, I do rather miss you at rehearsals, Jesse," said Giselle, wrapping her arms around my neck and pressing her body against me. "It just isn't quite the same without getting to hook up with you afterwards. No one can make me scream quite like you can."_

"_Well, that's true," I said, resting my hands on her hips. "Although I do feel bad about the potential damage to your vocal cords that I've caused."_

_Giselle grinned before biting my earlobe._

"_How about it, Jesse," she purred into my ear. "For old time's sake. We've got so much to celebrate, and I'm soaking wet just looking at you."_

_I smirked as she started to kiss and bite that sensitive spot right behind my ear. Kurt was always good at finding my sweet spots. He was such a fast learner when it came to what turned me on. I couldn't believe that he had never been with anyone before me. Kurt was the best I'd ever had, by far..._

"_Wait – what?" said Giselle, pulling away from me. _

"_What?" I said, completely baffled as to why she stopped. _

"_You just called me Kurt," she said, glaring at me. _

"_Did I?" I hadn't realised that I'd said that out loud. _

"_I cannot believe you!" _

_She untangled herself from me and began to storm away._

"_Wait, Giselle!" I called out. _

_She stopped in her tracks and turned to look at me, he hands on her hips. _

"_You're getting too involved, Jesse!" she said. "You're actually starting to have _feelings_ for that little fairy, and that is not what's supposed to happen! Now stick to the plan and ditch him already!"_

"_No!" I said without thinking. _

_God, what was happening to me? Was I really starting to have actual feelings for Kurt? No, of course not. It was just about the sex, wasn't it? The only reason I wanted to stay with him was because he was such an incredible fuck. It didn't mean anything other than that. Of course it didn't. _

"_No?" Giselle scoffed. _

_It was time to think on my feet. Something I was thankfully very good at. _

"_No," I said, walking up to her. "If I break up with him now, then it would be proving Rachel Berry right. He'd be just as heartbroken as her, and the entire club would be bound together in their mutual hatred of me, thus making them stronger."_

_Giselle still glared at me, but I could tell that she was intrigued. _

"_So, what do you plan on doing instead?" she asked. _

"_I'm going to make him fall for me even more," I said. "To the point where he couldn't possibly imagine living without me. Until he genuinely loves me. And then I'm going to get to join us." _

"_Really?" she asked. "You think that's going to work?"_

"_Without a doubt," I said. "He's incredible unappreciated, not only in that mediocre club but in that entire school. No one understands what a unique talent he is and with us he'd be a show choir star. He'd jump at the chance to be in Vocal Adrenaline, especially if I manage to turn him against his so-called friends and get him to be completely loyal to no one but me. It's perfect. Rachel will be too suicidal to sing and they would be one person down so they wouldn't even be able to perform at Regionals. New Directions will be finished and, with the help of Kurt Hummel and his extraordinary talent, we will be victorious."_

"_Wow," said Giselle, understandably in awe. "That plan is pure genius. I'm impressed."_

"_So you should be," I said. "You better not doubt me again."_

"_Don't worry," she said. "I won't. But do you really think he's talented enough to be one of us?"_

"_Of course he is," I said, offended that she would even ask. "His voice is beautiful. You should hear him sing a solo. It would bring a tear to your eye if such emotions hadn't been pounded out of the both of us at a young age. He has a very vast vocal range, he's an excellent dancer and – by far his most impressive attribute – he can do the one thing that no one else in Vocal Adrenaline can."_

"_What?"_

"_He can sing with genuine passion and emotion. Now, we all may be talented. That goes without saying. But you've got to admit that we're soulless automatons. We can perform an entire number pitch perfectly and without a single move out of place. But he can sing a ten second solo and make a whole audience burst into tears. With him on our side, we can't lose." _

"_Outstanding," she said, smirking. _

"_I know," I said. _

_All I had to do now is make this plan come together. How hard could it be? _

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Hope you enjoyed, guys! :)

**REVIEW! **

xxx


	4. Trust

Hey there, St. Hummel Lovers!  
This is just a shot chapter, and by far the least smutty (shock horror). I hope you enjoy none the less :D

Don't forget to review like it's going out of fashion, Humble Readers. I'll love you forever if you do :)

I own nothing to do with Glee. Except all the soundtracks and DVDs and all those pictures of Chris Colfer on my computer.

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**St. Hummel Smut Part Four**

"You and Jesse?" Mercedes said incredulously. "You're going out with... _Jesse St. James?"_

"I don't expect you guys to understand," I said. "But I do expect you to trust me."

"But you're with _Jesse,_" Tina stressed. "He's in Vocal Adrenaline. The only reason he even came here was to spy on us and ruin the club. _You_ didn't even trust him, how are we supposed to?"

I sighed and folded my arms. This was going to be a lot harder to explain to them than I had first hoped.

"He isn't just doing this to destroy the club," I said. "He told me."

"And you believe him?" Mercedes scoffed.

"Yes!" I said, getting frustrated.

"What about Rachel?" Artie piped up. "I though he transferred to this school so that he could be with her?"

"That was just a cover," I said. "He wanted to get closer to me but was too nervous to be direct about it. I still feel really terrible about that though."

"Well, that certainly explains why Rachel has been acting so... suicidal," said Artie.

"I thought Jesse St. James didn't get nervous?" said Mercedes bitterly.

I groaned and rolled my eyes at them. Why were they being so difficult? They were supposed to be my friends. They were supposed to trust my judgement. This wasn't like when Rachel started dating Jesse. That was completely misguided and we all had a right to be pissed at her. But Jesse actually cared about me, he wanted to be with me, and I thought that my_ best friends _would see that and understand.

"Kurt," said Mercedes seriously. "I'm gonna say this because I'm your best friend and I care about you. You gotta get away from Jesse."

"Oh my God..." I huffed, rolling my eyes again.

"He ain't right for you!" she insisted.

"I have to agree," said Artie. "Your relationship with him is a terrible idea."

Tina nodded along. I didn't want to dignify what they were saying with a response, so I just glared at them. I was contemplating getting up and leaving the cafeteria entirely, when suddenly I saw Jesse walking towards us. Oh, thank God.

"Hey, sweetheart," he said as he sat next to me. He put his arm around my shoulders and kissed me on the cheek, making me grin like an idiot. My stomach fluttered as I looked at him. I still couldn't quite believe that he was mine.

He turned to everyone else on the table and smiled pleasantly.

"I hope I haven't interrupted anything important," he said.

Mercedes glared at him. Tina and Artie just looked kind of uncomfortable.

"I, erm... I just told them about us," I said to him quietly.

"Ah," he said, nodding.

He looked over at everyone else with a winning smile.

"Well, I do hope that Kurt and I have your blessing," he said nicely.

Tina and Artie gave each other a meaningful look, as Mercedes scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"I don't see what the problem is," said Jesse slowly, with a nervous laugh.

"You are the problem, St. James," Mercedes suddenly said. "And if you think you can mess my man Kurt around, you got another thing comin'."

I groaned and rolled my eyes at her. It was sweet that she was being protective, but I wish she would just understand that Jesse was a good guy. He wouldn't hurt me.

_I hadn't expected that nerdy wheelchair kid or his Asian Goth girlfriend to say anything, but it didn't surprise me at all when that stereotype of a black girl decided to say something. I knew she was Kurt's best friend, but I would soon see to that. _

"_And what makes you think that I'm going to do anything that deplorable to Kurt?" I said. "I care about him deeply, and if you did too then you wouldn't be attacking me like this." _

"_Oh, please," said the black girl whose name I hadn't quite learnt yet. "You don't care about Kurt. You're just here to screw up our chances at Regionals. And we all saw what you did to Rachel, do you really think I'm gonna let you play Kurt like that too?" _

"_Can you please stop talking about me like I'm not here?" Kurt suddenly jumped in angrily. _

"_I'm just tryin' to look out for you," she said. _

"_No, you're not!" said Kurt. "You just can't stand the fact that I'm actually happy now. Jesse's trying to be nice to you guys and all you can do is bite his head off and accuse him of things that he hasn't even done. You're meant to be my best friend, Mercedes, why can't you just trust me?" _

_That was her name! I knew it was some kind of car or something. Anyway, Mercedes and the Asian girl and the wheelchair kid all stared at Kurt in silence, looking kind of guilty as he glared at them. This was perfect. I hadn't even really done anything and already Kurt was starting to hate them. _

_When nobody said anything Kurt stood up, taking hold of my hand so that I would get up too and said "Fine. I get it. I guess you guys weren't as accepting as I first thought."_

_He glared at them one last time, before saying "Come on, Jesse. We know when we're not wanted." _

_I didn't even give those guys a second look as I walked out of the cafeteria hand in hand with my Kurt. That couldn't have gone better. _

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Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.  
**Reviews are love!**

xxx


	5. Apprecitate

Sorry this chapter took so long, Humble Readers. I've had epic writer's block and I'm writing so many fics at the same time.  
Some of you (you bunch of pervs, you...) will be please to know that the smuttiness I am infamous for has returned!

Anyways, **reviews are love** :D

Still don't own Glee. Which is probably a blessing in disguise. I mean, you've read this fic so far.

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**St Hummel Smut Part Five**

"But I thought that you liked being in New Directions?" I said, perplexed. "You said that Vocal Adrenaline had no heart."

"That may be true," said Jesse. "But they are not nearly as heartless as your so-called friends. Look at how horribly they are treating you and I just for being together. Whatever happened to a little tolerance?"

He was pacing the shiny wooden floors of his living room, glaring into space as I sat on his expensive leather couch and watched him with wide, apprehensive eyes.

He had been wound up like this ever since Glee Club that day.

"Kurt would be perfect for this solo, Mr. Schuester," said Jesse, demandingly. "Why aren't you giving him a chance to shine?"

"Well, I've already given this particular solo to Tina," said Mr. Schue. "And it's not like he minds, do you, Kurt?"

I shook my head. I really didn't mind taking the backseat with this number at all. I didn't even like this song that much. But, for some reason, Jesse just wouldn't let it lie.

"Mr. Schuester, I think you're being unfair," he said, sounding scarily like Rachel. Or at least what Rachel used to sound like before... well, you know.

"I'm sorry, but how am I being unfair?" asked Mr. Schue, genuinely looking confused.

"Everybody in this club gets a fair deal except for Kurt," he said. "Kurt is incredibly talented and I think he is being highly underappreciated."

"We appreciate him just fine here," said Mr. Schue, frowning.

"Jesse, seriously, it's okay," I said quietly.

"No, it's not!" he insisted. "I will not sit by and watch your talent being ignored!"

"Oh, would you shut it already, St. James!" Mercedes suddenly burst.

"Yeah, dude," said Puck. "No one asked for your opinion anyway."

"Kurt," said Santana, dragging her attention away from filing her nails. "Can you please control your so-called boyfriend?"

"What do you mean _so-called_?" Jesse exclaimed before I could say anything.

"Oh, please," said Quinn. "We all know you're only here to spy on us and ruin the club."

Rachel – who had been sitting in the corner, unnaturally silent and staring morbidly into the middle distance since rehearsals began – suddenly turned her head and started paying attention.

"I see you've all been listening to Rachel's insane nonsense," said Jesse, once again stopping me from saying anything. "How many times do I have to tell you all? I am not here to destroy the club! I am here to be with Kurt and make this show choir considerably better, which is why I think it is in your best interests, Mr. Schuester, to give him more solos!"

"Jesse, please..." I said in a small voice. I blushed as everyone groaned and glared at Jesse.

"If you're all finished bickering," said Mr. Schue, sounding exhausted. "Tina, you still have your solo. Kurt, we'll try and sort something out for you in our next number. Jesse... calm down. Please."

Jesse folded his arms and huffed, muttering something that sounded like "Bunch of mediocre..."

I couldn't help but blush even harder as he glared at Mr. Schue and everyone else glared at Jesse.

"So you're going back to Vocal Adrenaline?" I asked. "But... but what about me?"

"Come with me," he said, stopping his pacing to look at me.

"Wait – what? I can't just leave New Directions and move schools."

Jesse came and sat next to me, taking hold of my hand. "Of course you can. I did. Things will be better when we're both in Vocal Adrenaline. They won't hate us for being together. They won't crush your incredible talent."

I literally couldn't think of a thing to say to that.

_Kurt sat there gaping at me after my offer. It didn't surprise me that he didn't say yes straight away, although it would have been so much easier for me if he had. I mean, I thought that I had made him fall in love with me enough to do whatever I asked, but clearly there was some way to go. _

"_Sweetheart," I said gently, holding his baby-soft hand tighter. "I'm doing this for us. For you. I just want you to be happy and you would be so happy with me in Vocal Adrenaline." _

_Kurt shook his head slowly. "I... I don't know. This just seems so... hasty."_

_He looked right into my eyes searchingly for a second, and I immediately tried to look as sincere and honest as possible. And, just like the perfect little boyfriend that he was, he fell for it. _

_He squeezed my hand and said "Let me think about it." _

_I smiled broadly at him. That was basically a yes. All I had to do now was do some more convincing that Vocal Adrenaline would be the better option and everything would have gone according to plan. _

_I stroked his cheek gently, making him smile. He was so cute when he smiled and his skin was so soft. If this wasn't all just a plot to destroy the competition I would still totally want to tap that. I leaned forward to kiss him, and it wasn't long before we were having a full blown make out session on the couch. Kurt writhed underneath me, making some of the sexiest noises ever, his hands racking through my hair. I felt him tugging on my shirt, pulling it over my head, and I did the same to his shirt, being careful not to rip any buttons as that would just piss him off. And I wanted my Kurt to be happy. _

_I quickly got to work on his jeans until he was laying completely naked on my leather couch, his skin already rosy and his cock hard and dripping with pre-come. God, he was so gorgeous. I put my fingers in his mouth so he could suck on them until they were wet and began to stretch out his opening, spreading his legs wide and stroking his thigh when he cried out. But that cry soon turned into a moan as I finger-fucked him with a little more speed. I got rid of my own pants before ramming my achingly hard cock inside him. He scrunched his face up in pain but I didn't worry about whether I was hurting him. I knew by now how rough he liked it. The more it hurt him, the more he seemed to love it. It was so great how kinky he was. _

_I pounded into him hard until he was crying out in pleasure. He felt so fucking good, so tight and hot around me. I moved us both so that he was sitting on my lap with his arms around my neck. I held tightly onto his hips as I thrust upwards and he impaled himself on my cock harder and harder. I dug my nails into his skin, biting and sucking on his neck as he moaned my name. _

"_Oh God, Jesse!" he cried out as I hit that sweet spot inside him. "Don't stop! Don't... ahh... don't fucking stop!" _

_I grabbed hold of his cock and began to pump him in time with my thrusts, willing him to come as I could feel the pressure building up inside me and I knew I was close to the edge. Once I bit down hard on his nipple it only took a second for him to scream my name, roughly riding out his orgasm as he came hard into my hand. My release arrived almost instantly as his walls clenched around me, the waves of pleasure hitting me so hard it was overwhelming. With the little bit of energy I had left, I licked my fingers clean of his delicious seed. He truly did taste beautiful. _

_Kurt's hot, sweaty body was slumped against mine, his head resting on my shoulder and my gradually softening cock still inside him. As he struggled to catch he breath he whispered in my ear "I... love you... Jesse." _

_I grinned, holding onto him tighter as he sat on my lap. It felt so good to hear him say that, but I was surprised to notice that my good feeling wasn't just because I had succeeded in making him fall in love with me. I was happy because... dare I say it? But I couldn't possibly... could I? This was just a plan. A plan and some really incredible sex. Nothing more than that. I didn't..._

"_I love you too, Kurt."_

_But apparently I did. _

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Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers!  
Not sure when the next chapter will be up, but hopefully it won't take as long.

Don't forget to review like crazy :D

xxx


	6. Burning Up

This took a lot longer to write than I thought it would, sorry about that.  
But this chapter includes a musical number, and I've never written a fic with a song in it before. So yeah, it was all a bit new to me.

Also, for a while I wasn't sure what song Vocal Adrenaline should perform for Kurt. It had to be something really hot that Jesse would look sexy performing, and all I could think of was the Madonna song 'Burning Up'. Now, I know what you're thinking. But here's my logic. Although the song was recorded for the Madonna episode and everything, they never actually performed it. So having it in my fic wouldn't be so bad, would it? See, I knew you'd all understand :)

Anyways, please review like hell.  
_I am like Tinkerbelle, Humble Readers. I need **reviews** to live! _

And I don't own Glee, obviously. Or the song 'Burning Up'. Obviously.

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**St Hummel Smut Part Six**

Jesse led me into the Carmel High auditorium, his hand in mine. As I expected, it was nearly twice the size of the one at McKinley. Everything about this place just screamed 'We're better than you'.

"Are you sure we're even allowed to be here right now?" I asked.

"Of course," said Jesse. "Our rehearsal time doesn't officially end until midnight. We basically have free reign of the whole building until then. With the amount of prestige that Vocal Adrenaline brings to the school, we're all pretty much allowed to do whatever we want."

He sat me down on a chair at the very front row, before going to stand in the middle of the vast empty stage. As if on cue, a blindingly bright spotlight shone down on him.

"You're probably wondering why I brought you here, Kurt," he said. "Well, as you know, the one thing I want more than anything in the world is for you and I to be together and for you to be happy, and I believe that being in Vocal Adrenaline with me would make you happy. Now, you said that you would think about it, so me and my fellow team mates have decided to organise a little performance for you, just to help you make your choice."

"Oh, erm... okay," I said.

Suddenly the band – who I hadn't even realised were there – began to play and the other members of Vocal Adrenaline came shimmying and dancing onto the stage. I recognized this song, but it wasn't until Jesse sung the first line that I realised what it was. I could feel my face going red.

"_Don't set me off, 'cause I'm on fire_

_And I can't quench my desire _

_Don't you know that I'm burning up for your love?_

_You're not convinced that is enough_

_I put myself in this position_

_And I deserve the imposition_

_But you don't even know I'm alive!_

_And this pounding in my heart just won't die_

_I'm burning up..."_

The rest of the choir had been doing some pretty incredible and acrobatic dance moves and backing vocals while Jesse had been singing, but nothing really compared to the intense way that he was staring at me as he sang. It was like a whole new level of eye-sex. By the time the chorus kicked in and he and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline were dancing and singing _"I'm burning up, burning up for you love!" _I felt as if I'd been completely ravished.

I could hardly breathe as the female performers were lifted into the air and one of the guys was back-flipping his way across the stage. The whole performance was not only incredibly professional looking, but achingly sexy. Jesse must have had a lot of say about the choreography as it seemed to be focusing mainly on him and the equally hot male members of the choir, the girls spending most of their time in the background as the all the guys were basically just _on each other._ It was the hottest thing I had ever seen. And that included Finn Hudson singing 'Hello, I Love You'. That didn't even compare.

The number came to an end with Jesse standing triumphantly centre-stage, the rest of Vocal Adrenaline around him looking impressive and barely even out of breath. I was out of breath just watching their energetic performance. Although, I blamed that mainly on Jesse.

"So," he said as his teammates made their way backstage. "What did you think?"

"That was..." I began. "That was... incredible."

Jesse smiled, gesturing for me to come up on stage. I made my way up towards him, squinting from the overly bright spotlights.

"I knew you'd just love it, sweetheart," he said, taking hold of both my hands. "You could be a part of this. You could be a star. New Direction could never pull off a performance like what we just did and you know it."  
It was true. I did know it. But it kind of hurt to admit it.

"But," I said quietly. "I'm not as good as you guys. You're all so... professional."  
Jesse looked shocked. "You are an amazing performer, Kurt! That's why you should join Vocal Adrenaline. This is where the real talent is. You're wasted with New Directions."  
"I... I don't know," I muttered shaking my head. This was all so much for me.

"I just want you to be happy," he said, wrapping his arms around me. "And I just want us to be together. I thought that you loved me."

"I do!" I said quickly. "I love you more than anything, it's just... this feels so drastic. And I'd be hurting so many people by switching to a rival Glee Club."  
"Those people don't care about you like I do," he said, looking intensely into my eyes. "None of them appreciate you like I do. I can't stand the idea of them all dragging you down to their level. You're better than all of them, Kurt. I'm just thinking about your happiness, about your future, and you have no future with them."

I looked at him for a second, not sure of what to say. Maybe he had a point. Maybe I'd be better off with Vocal Adrenaline. I'd be a winner for the first time in my life. I'd be a star. The students of Carmel High didn't treat their Glee Club like those idiots at McKinley. I wouldn't be slushied everyday just for being myself, which would defiantly cut my dry-cleaning bill in half. I wouldn't have to worry about getting thrown in the dumpster or beaten up by that asshole, Karofsky. Ms. Sylvester wouldn't be happy about me leaving the Cheerios, but being part of a champion show choir would be a million times more rewarding than cheerleading. And I could be with Jesse properly, without everybody hating on us and Rachel Berry giving us sleep-deprived death-glares all the time. And I just couldn't bare the idea of not being with Jesse.

"I still have a lot to think about," I said finally. "I'm sorry I can't give you an answer right away. I don't want you to think it's because I don't love you, because I do. I love you so much. I'm just confused."  
Jesse stroked my cheek and smiled. "Don't worry, baby. You take as long as you need. And I love you too."

_It felt so weird telling him that I loved him. This was probably the first time I'd ever said it and actually meant it. I know, I know, this wasn't supposed to happen. I wasn't supposed to have any actual feelings for him. It was meant to be all about the winning. The winning and the incredible sex. Love wasn't meant to be involved. I didn't even know I was capable of that emotion anymore. But as I kissed Kurt in the middle of the stage I knew deep down that I didn't just want Kurt to move to Vocal Adrenaline because it was part of the plan. I wanted him to join us so that we could be together. The idea of him staying with his shitty Glee Club and not being with me anymore actually made me... _sad.

_I thought that when I said that I loved him for the first time it was just because I was in a post-orgasmic state of delirium. But, when I gave it some sober-minded thought, I realised that I did actually mean what I said. And I very rarely ever mean anything I say. Being in love with Kurt was just going to complicate things. But it wasn't like I could do anything about it now. _

"_Can you take me home please?" Kurt asked. "My Dad is going to worry about me."_

"_Sure, sweetheart," I said, kissing his forehead. "Let me just say bye to the guys."_

_He nodded and made his way off the stage. The moment I turned away I saw Giselle standing just off stage, glaring at me. Oh, fantastic. I walked towards her until we were both behind the curtain, hoping that Kurt wouldn't be able to see us. _

"_You're falling for him," she whispered angrily._

"_No, I'm not," I calmly whispered back. "I'm just an excellent actor. And you should be pleased. I've almost got him on our side."_

_Giselle narrowed her eyes, her arms folded. It didn't really look as if she believed me. _

"_Just remember why we're doing this," she said. "This plan is about winning. Nothing more and nothing less."_

_She glared at me one last time before storming off backstage. She was right. I was losing sight of the plan because of all my stupid feelings. Feelings had no place in this plan, or in a champion show choir like ours. The plan was almost complete. We were going to get a talented new member and destroy the competition. I needed to focus. Kurt was nothing more than our secret weapon to victory. _

_Our secret weapon to victory who I was madly in love with. _

_Damn it. _

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Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.  
Don't forget to **review, review, review! **

Also, don't be surprised if this doesn't get updated for a long time.  
I have no idea what's going to happen next. I'm just as clueless and the rest of you.

xxx


	7. Feelings

Sorry that this took so long, St. Hummel fans.  
Firstly, I had no idea what should happen next in this fic.  
And then (and this is probably going to sound bad)... I met Jonathan Groff. And he was the most adorable, innocent, modest, lovely person on the planet. And then I thought back to this fic and felt like a bad person.  
But I managed a bit of separation. In my head, Jon and Jesse are too very different people. Just like Kurt and Chris.

Anyways, enjoy the angst and drama of this chapter.  
And REVIEW like it's going out of fashion.

Oh, and obviously I don't own anything, blah blah blah.

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**St Hummel Smut Part Seven**

_I told myself not to think about it. I was just proving my loyalty, it didn't mean anything else. Well, I didn't know about her, but it certainly didn't mean a thing to me. But, as Giselle wrapped her legs around my hips, one hand clawing at my neck and the other steadying herself on the dressing room table, all I felt was guilt – an extremely unfamiliar emotion for me, especially while having sex with someone. But, for the first time ever, I absolutely hated myself. _

_Giselle wanted me to prove that I wasn't falling for Kurt, that I was sticking to the plan and not letting feelings get in the way of winning. She had told me to come to the Vocal Adrenaline dressing room at Carmel High to discuss how the plan was going. I was going to tell her that I'd almost achieved our goal and soon Kurt would be one of us, but I didn't get a chance. The moment I was in the room, before I even got a chance to shut the door behind me, she was all over me. And I wouldn't have minded had it not been for my stupid feelings. _

"_What are you doing?" I said, pushing her away as gently as possible. _

"_What's the matter, Jesse?" she said. "We hook up all the time. Things shouldn't be any different now. Unless, of course, you've been letting your feelings get in the way of the plan."  
"Of course not," I said instinctively. "The plan is going perfectly."_

"_Good," she said, with a smirk. "Excellent excuse for a celebratory fuck then."_

_She slid her hand down my chest, resting it on my crotch. She was testing me. That evil little bitch was testing my loyalty in the worst way possible. If I refused to fuck her she'd know that I was really in love with Kurt and the whole plan would be screwed. If I fucked her I'd be proving that I was still completely loyal to Vocal Adrenaline, but I'd also be cheating on Kurt. I'd be cheating on the first person I'd ever properly fallen in love with. God, I hated her. _

_I had to do it. I had no choice. If I screwed up the plan then Giselle would probably go and spill everything to Kurt, meaning that he'd hate me forever. Hate me just like Rachel hates me. And I just couldn't bare the idea of that happening. So I bit the bullet, and I fucked that sly bitch on the table, as hard and fast as I could, all the while feeling like the worst person in the world. So this is what guilt felt like. _

"_Oh God, Jesse!" she cried out. _

_I thrust into her even harder, squeezing my eyes shut. How I managed to maintain an erection while feeling that terrible, I have no idea. I tried to think of Kurt. I was doing this for him. I was doing this for us, so that he could join VA and we could be together. And it wasn't like he'd ever find out, right?_

_And that was when I heard Giselle chuckling. Not the effect I usually had on her. _

"_What?" I asked as she continued cackling. I followed her gaze towards the still opened door and felt my heart sink. _

_He was there. Kurt was standing right there. _

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I didn't want to believe it. Giselle Turner from Vocal Adrenaline had told me to meet her there. Something about discussing me joining their club. But I never, not in a million years, expected to walk into this. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes as she realised I was there and began to laugh at me. That bitch was actually laughing at me! I gave into the tears once Jesse noticed I was there. He tried to get away from her, pulling his pants back up, but she clung on to him with a look of triumph.

"Nice of you to join us, Hummel," she said with a smirk that made me want to punch her.

"Kurt, I... I can explain," stuttered Jesse, looking desperate.

I was too horrified to say anything. Giselle just laughed again.

"Explain what, Jesse?" she said. "How you tricked him to falling for you so he'd ditch those losers at McKinley and join us?"

"What?" I cried, my voice sounding a lot higher than I wanted it to.

"No, Kurt..." said Jesse, actually looking scared.

"Is this true?" I said, tears streaming down my face. "Was it all a lie?"

He didn't say anything, just stared at me with all that desperation in his eyes. Those gorgeous blue eyes that I'd fallen so in love with. That he's _made me_ fall in love with. I could actually feel my heart breaking.

"You said you loved me..." I whispered.

"I do!" he said, finally getting out of Giselle's grasp. "I do love you, Kurt!"

He walked towards me but I stepped back.

"You lied to me," I said quietly, painfully.

"No," he said, shaking his head and looking as if he was about to cry himself. "I mean... maybe at first, but not now. When I said I loved you meant it. Please, Kurt."

I backed away further, shaking my head. I could hear Giselle giggle, which just made me feel worse.  
"How can I trust you now, Jesse?" I said. "How can I believe a word you say after all of this? After finding out you tricked me, after catching you with _her?_"

Jesse's eyes were glistening with tears. Either he was a really good actor or he actually meant it. But I was too hurt to care.

"Kurt, please..." he begged.

He tried to reach out to me but I slapped his hand away. He was lucky I hadn't punched him in the face. I felt like such an idiot!

"As much as it hurts me to admit," I said, roughly wiping my tears away and glaring at him. "Rachel was right about you. You _are_ poison."

I walked away as fast as I could, never looking back, no matter how much Jesse called after me. I never wanted to see him again.

"_What the fuck, Giselle!" I yelled. _

"_What?" she said innocently, getting off the table and looking pleased with herself. _

"_You're a fucking bitch, that's what!"_

"_And you're a dirty little liar," she said, folding her arms. "You said you didn't have any feelings for him and yet you were sobbing like a little girl just now."  
"You know what? I don't care anymore!" I swear, I could have killed her. "Yes, I'm in love with Kurt, and I don't give a shit about you or the plan or winning or anything anymore!"_

"_You are not serious," she said, frowning. _

_I grabbed my coat and made my way to the door, turning to her one last time to say "Yes, I am serious. Go fuck yourself, Giselle, because I'm certainly not going to anymore." _

_I left the room, left the whole building, but Kurt was long gone. I felt like punching something and crying my eyes out at the same time. I had something perfect and I ruined it. Kurt was the best thing that ever happened to me and I fucked it up. If I was Kurt, I'd never want to even look at me ever again. But I needed him. I loved him more than I had ever loved anybody or anything before. And I couldn't just let him go._

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Angsty...

Anyway, REVIEWS ARE LOVE.  
And you all love me. Don't you?

xxx


	8. Without You

Not having any internet at home is making knock out fanfics like whoa...

Anyways, this is the more angst-ridden weep-fest ever. You have been warned.  
As if it could get cheerful after the last chapter...  
But still, I was upsetting myself just writing this.  
It kind of reminds me of the stories I used to write when I was in high school, back in the Emo Years. Only no one dies.  
Also, it helps if you've heard 'Without You' from Rent at least once, because it gets referenced A LOT.

Anyhoo, review like it's going out of fashion, Humble Readers.

Do I really have to tell you that I don't own Glee? Isn't it obvious by now?

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**St Hummel Smut Part Eight**

I had spent pretty much the entire weekend down in my bedroom with a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on the doorknob. I didn't want my Dad asking questions about why I was so upset. As far as he was concerned, I was just feeling ill.

I couldn't sleep, I barely ate a thing. I even missed my morning skincare routine because I was too depressed to get out of bed. Instead I spent the weekend crying until it hurt and listening to sad music on my iPod. I'd been favouring 'Without You' from Rent because the lyrics were so painfully close to what I was feeling.

I should hate Jesse. I should want to throw heavy, blunt objects at his head for what he did to me. But the truth was that I missed him, which just made me feel like even more of an idiot. He was a complete asshole, lying and cheating his way into my heart. And yet being without him was killing me.

I checked my phone every ten minutes to find more missed calls from him, more texts asking me to answer my phone so he could explain and begging for my forgiveness. I didn't answer, no matter how badly I wanted to hear his voice. I tried to tell myself that it was all a lie. He'd tricked me into falling so in love with him. It was all just like what he'd done to Rachel, only a million times worse.

I couldn't believe that he would do all this just so Vocal Adrenaline could be champions for the fourth time. Did winning really mean so much to him that he would make me think he loved me, destroy all my friendships and make me want to leave my own Glee Club? Was he really worth all the tears and the heartache and the blotchy skin if I obviously meant so little to him?

Yes. Yes, he was.

Because it didn't feel like I meant nothing to him. He wouldn't have bothered to keep on constantly calling me if he didn't care. He wouldn't have looked so truly devastated when I walked in on him with _her._ But then he wouldn't have gotten with her in the first place either. I didn't know what to think.

I didn't think I was every going to stop crying. Although, listening to 'Without You' on repeat probably wasn't helping. I wished I could call Mercedes, but I knew I couldn't, not anymore. She probably hated me now, and all because of Jesse. Even if she did listen or come over to comfort me, there would always be that "I told you so!" hanging in the air. And right now I just didn't want to be reminded of how much of how stupid I was.

It was Sunday and, just as 'Without You' was coming to an end for possibly the twelfth time, I heard the doorbell ring. As much as I didn't want to, I dragged myself out of bed and up the stairs. Dad had probably forgotten his keys or something. Or maybe Finn had come over to watch something on the big screen TV in the living room. I didn't care. Whatever it was, it was cutting into my wallowing-in-self-pity time.

But I nearly forgot to breathe when instead I opened the door to find a slightly exhausted looking Jesse. I guess he'd gotten sick of trying to call me. For a fraction of a second I forgot that I was supposed to hate him and was mortified that he was seeing me looking so terrible – I hadn't combed my hair or moisturised or even showered today! I was still wearing what I'd fallen asleep in, my one and only pair of sweat pants and an oversized t-shirt that used to be my Dad's. I was a complete mess!

But then I remembered that I shouldn't give a shit what he thought of me. I shouldn't have to make myself look good for him after everything he'd put me through. Before he could say anything, I slammed the door in his face. Or, at least, I tried to. He put his foot in the door before it could close, meaning I ended up slamming the door into his foot. Good. I hoped it hurt.

"Wait!" he said. "Please, Kurt, just listen to me!"

"Why should I listen to anything you say?" I croaked out. All that crying was screwing my voice up. Great, he was going to take that away from me too.

"I just want to explain," he pleaded. "I'm not trying to win you back, and I'm not justifying what I did. I just want you to know everything, the truth. Please, Kurt."

"Fine," I said after a while, too exhausted to argue.

I stepped out of the way so he could come in, shutting the door behind him before leading him to the living room. He was lucky my Dad wasn't home. If he had any idea what Jesse had done to me he'd have hunted him down with a shotgun by now.

We both sat down on the coach with a considerable distance between us. I noticed as I looked at him that his eyes were kind of red and there were dark circles under them, as if he hadn't slept and had possibly even been crying. I don't know why, but that kind of made me feel a little better.

"_So go ahead," said Kurt. "Explain yourself." _

_I brushed my hair out of my face, trying to think of where to begin. My head was pounding from lack of sleep and it was so hard to think of what to say. Obviously I had been rehearsing what to say in my head as I drove to his house, but now that I was here I just couldn't remember any of it. I think that seeing him after what felt like forever just pushed it all out of my head. He looked so small and fragile in that huge t-shirt with his hair all messed up and his eyes all red and puffy. He'd clearly been crying, and it was all because of me. God, I was such an asshole. _

"_I never meant for it to go this far," I finally said. "The plan was never even supposed to go on for this long. I was just supposed to seduce Rachel and break her heart, and then seduce you and break your heart. Then go back to Vocal Adrenaline safe in the knowledge that the two best performers in New Directions were too depressed and heartbroken to sing. And then our chances of winning Regionals would be even higher."_

_Kurt was staring straight ahead with an unreadable expression. _

"_Breaking Rachel as easy," I continued. "She's so dramatic and emotional. I knew from the moment that we met that I'd made her fall for me, and moving schools just for her sealed the deal. So I knew that when I left her for you it would destroy her, and I didn't care because I didn't care about her. But you were different, Kurt."_

_He still hadn't really reacted to anything I'd said. This was starting to worry me. _

"_I tried to tell myself that I had no feelings for you, that it was just the sex that made me like being with you so much. But it was always there, deep down. That feeling that I needed you. That feeling that I didn't ever want to let you go, even though I was supposed to. Giselle figured it out straight away, of course."_

_He grimaced at the sound of her name. Understandable. Just talking about her was making me want to hit something. _

"_She knew that I was starting to have feelings for you, and that it would ruin the plan. So I changed the plan. Instead of breaking your heart, I would make you love me more. I would turn you against your friends. I would make you want to join Vocal Adrenaline with me. She loved it, thought it was even better than the original plan, and let me go ahead with it. But the truth was that I just didn't want to break up with you. I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted you to join us so that I would never have to let you go."_

_I looked over at him. He was so broken, and all because of me. I really wished I could know what he was thinking at that moment. _

"_When I said I loved you, it wasn't a lie. Not even I'm that good an actor. I've never loved anyone before, I wouldn't even know how to fake that. I don't expect you to believe anything I say, but I want you to believe that at least. Because I did love you. I _do_ love you."_

_I heard a sniff and looked over to see him wiping tears off his cheeks. Oh God, I really didn't think I could handle seeing him cry. I wanted nothing more than to go over and hug him, but I couldn't move. _

"_She knew I loved you," I continued. "And she hated me for it. Jealousy, I think. She was trying to test my loyalty that day. She knew that I was screwed whatever I decided. If I said no to her then she'd know for sure that I had fallen for you and she'd probably go and tell you everything anyway. She knew I'd never say no because I didn't want to admit my feelings to her and I didn't want you finding out about the plan and hating me forever. But I wish more than anything that I had said no. It wasn't even about the plan anymore. That fucking bitch just wanted to hurt us both." _

_I ran my hands through my hair again, holding back the tears of anger and regret. _

"_And now I can't sleep," I said. "I can't eat. I don't even have the will to sing. I've just been sitting up in my room listening to sad music and crying more than I did when I was playing the lead in my sixth grade production of __Romeo and Juliet._ _I've been particularly listening to 'Without You' from the Rent soundtrack because the lyrics express my melancholia so frighteningly well."_

_He looked up at me with a start, his eyes wide. _

"_What?" I said. _

"_N-nothing," he stammered, shaking his head but still looking surprised. _

"_So," I said quietly. "That's it. I don't expect forgiveness. I understand if you hate me and never want to see me again. I just wanted you to know everything. And I wanted you to know how truly sorry I am. And that I'm never going to stop loving you."_

_Kurt was silent for a second that felt like days, staring at his hands. And then he finally said "I don't hate you, Jesse. I mean, I should. I should really loath you for what you've done to me, and to Rachel too. I may not like her that much, but what you did to her was heartless, and what you did to me was just cruel. I gave myself to you, Jesse. I chose you over the only friends I've ever had. I was going to join Vocal Adrenaline so I could be with you."_

"_You were?" I said. _

_He nodded, before turning to glare at me. "What you've done is unforgivable. But, strangely, I don't hate you. I _can't_ hate you. I love you way too much to ever really hate you."_

_There was so much bitterness in his voice. There was a part of me that was happy that he still loved me, but it made my heart sink to know that he didn't want to. I couldn't do this anymore. It hurt too much. All this pain and guilt and regret was so unfamiliar that it just made it hurt even more. _

"_I should go," I said, standing up. "Don't worry, I won't call you anymore."_

"_Wait," he said suddenly. _

_I turned to look at him. There were fresh tears in his eyes._

"What?" he said.

I don't know why I stopped him. I should have just let him go. But instead I stood up and walked towards him until we were inches away from each other.

"I know that you're sorry," I said quietly, looking up at him. "I believe you. But I can't ever forgive you for this."

He nodded sadly. "I know."

I moved even closer to him. I didn't even realise I did it. I looked right into his eyes. Oh God, I forgot just how beautiful they were. It looked as if he was trying not to cry.

"But," I said, my hands resting on his chest without me telling them to. "I'm never going to stop loving you either."

I felt him cautiously rest his hands on my hips. I still had marks there from the last time we made love. Those marks were like physical proof that I was still his. I know I shouldn't have done, but I got up on my tip toes and kissed him. He responded with gentle but unmistakeable desperation, his arms wrapping around me and pulling me closer as my arms wrapped around his neck and did the same. There was so much need in our kiss, from both of us. I could feel fresh tears pouring down my cheeks as I kissed him, perhaps for the last time. I don't know how long we stood there. It could have been a few seconds or a few hours. I didn't care. I didn't want it to end. But I knew that it had to. When I pulled away from him I saw that his face was also streaked with tears. He was making it so difficult for me to hate him.

"I love you so much, Kurt," he whispered, resting his forehead on mine.

"I know," I said. "I love you too."

I knew that he meant it. I could _feel_ that he meant it. And wished more than anything that I could just forgive him and forget that this ever happened. But I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to, I just couldn't forgive him.

_I finally left his house and got into my car. It felt as if my heart had been shattered by that kiss, that kiss that had broken me, made me cry in front of him when I had been trying my hardest to hold it back. That kiss hurt so much because I could feel how much he loved me. I could feel how much he needed me. But he still hadn't forgiven me, and that kiss just showed that he probably never would. So here I was, sitting in my car outside his house, crying my eyes out. _

_When I finally calmed down enough to be able to drive without crashing into something, I switched the engine on and began making my way home. The moment I started the car up, my stereo began playing again. It was the last few bars of 'Without You'. I'd had it on repeat. I couldn't help but sing along, even though my voice sounded all croaky and terrible from crying._

"_Life goes on_

_But I'm gone_

'_Cause I die_

_Without you."_

_

* * *

_

*wipes tears away*  
I depress myself sometimes... :'(

I don't really know what's going to happen next, although I'm open to suggestions.  
And I really think you should listen to 'Without You' from Rent if you haven't. The lyrics are exactly how I can imagine Kurt and Jesse feeling in this chapter.

Anyway, **REVIEWS ARE LOVE. **

xxx**  
**


	9. Focus

I think this is going to be the penultimate chapter of this fic.  
I think ten chapters will be longer enough. Also, I'm running out of stuff to write about :P  
And to think, this just started out as a humble one-shot...

Anyway, don't forget to throw some reviews at me.

And - and this may come as a shock to you - I still don't actually own Glee.

* * *

**St Hummel Smut Part Nine**

Rachel Berry's bedroom was just as painfully garish as the last time I was there. I was glad I was wearing my sunglasses as they blocked out some of the primary colours, although I was only wearing them to cover up the hideous bags under my eyes. I may have been just as depressed and heartbroken as Rachel, but that didn't mean I had to look like I was.

"So why exactly are you here, Kurt?" she said in a voice much quieter than was usual for her.

She looked just as broken as ever, sitting on the edge of her bed with her hands on her lap, although it was clear she was healing slightly. It looked as if she'd started combing her hair again. But she was still rather fragile and vulnerable looking, which was sort of unnerving. As much as I couldn't stand the old, grating, insufferable Rachel, I kind of wanted her back.

"I'm here to build some bridges," I said. "And to tell you that, as much as it hurts me to admit... you were right."

She looked at me quizzically. "Right about what?"

"Jesse and I have separated," I said, deciding not to draw it out. "It turns out that, in the beginning at least, it really was all a set up to destroy our Glee Club."

Rachel's eyes got comically wider. She looked as if she was somewhere between laughing hysterically and getting up to hug me. Instead she muttered "I'm... I'm so sorry, Kurt."

"Please, I'm the one that should be apologising," I said. "I should have listened to you. You knew straight away that he was going to screw me over and mess my life up and you tried to warn me, but I was too busy falling in love with him to pay any attention. Instead I just let it all spiral out of control. And now I feel so hollow and empty and like... like..."

"Like you'll never be happy again?" Rachel offered.

"Exactly," I nodded. "What he did to me... it was like what he did to you, but so much worse."

"Why?" she said curiously. "What did he do?"

I sighed. God, where do I begin?

"I thought that he really cared about me," I said. "He said he did. But he was just going to break up with me like he did with you. That's what he said when he explained it all to me. He was going to make me fall for him and then dump me, so that the two best singers in New Directions were too heartbroken to perform."

"He said we were the two best singers in New Directions?" she suddenly asked, momentarily distracted.

"I know, I was flattered too, but that's not the point," I said. "The point is that he changed his mind. He didn't want to hurt me so instead of leaving me heartbroken, he decided to make me fall even more in love with him and then convince me to join Vocal Adrenaline."

"What?" she cried, looking outraged at the very idea.

"I nearly did too," I continued. "He kept on saying that I was underappreciated with you guys and only he truly understood me. There was nobody that loved me as much as he did. It was so difficult not to believe every word of it, especially considering how amazing all the sex was."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Okay, I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part. So, erm... so what made you finally see the light?"

"I caught him cheating on me," I said, frowning at the memory. "With that VA bitch, Giselle Turner."

"That bastard!" said Rachel angrily. "How could he...?"

"It wasn't him," I interrupted. "Not really. It was all _her._ She set us both up because she was jealous that Jesse was actually falling for me and it wasn't part of their plan."

"But still, he was lying to you and cheating on you," she insisted. "He deserves to be with Giselle. They're just as manipulative and heartless as each other. Good riddance."

Rachel suddenly looked happier than I'd seen her in ages. "Oh, this is wonderful, Kurt. We have both survived the horrors of a relationship with Jesse St. James, and now we are free to be strong and independent and, more importantly, to hate him."

"I don't hate him," I said before I could stop myself.

Rachel looked at me as if I was completely insane.

"How can you not hate him?" she said incredulously. "What he did to you was considerably more terrible than what he did to me, and yet I loathe him with a burning passion and picture him being mauled by wild animals on a semi-regular basis. Why don't you hate him?"

"Because I love him, okay!" I cried, feeling stupid. "In spite of my better judgement, I still love him and he loves me! Now go ahead and tell me I'm an idiot."

"You're an idiot," she said, folding her arms. "He doesn't deserve your love after everything he did. Okay, I admit that it took me a while to get over him, but I at least understand that he is poison and we are both better off without him."

"I know," I said, exasperated. "I know he's terrible for me and I should just forget about him. And I'm not saying that I forgive him for what he did. I am _never_ going to forgive him. But... you don't understand, it's complicated. It wasn't like when he was with you. He genuinely fell for me, he didn't mean to but he did. That's why the plan was changed. He was only trying to turn me against you guys so that he wouldn't have to lose me, and he only slept with Giselle because she was threatening to tell me everything. He really loved me, he still does. And, even though I wish more than anything that I didn't, I still love him too."

Rachel still looked a little sceptical.

"You need to forget about him, Kurt," she said seriously. "No good can come from dwelling on it all. Trust me, it's really not healthy. And if what you say is true and he really does love you, then he'll know to leave you alone."

I nodded sadly. "Yeah... yeah, you're right."

"We need to focus," she said, that old determination back in her voice. "We need to forget about Jesse St. James and focus on Regionals. We need to show those jerks at Vocal Adrenaline that they've failed at destroying New Directions' two best singers."

I couldn't help but grin. That old Rachel Berry drive was oddly comforting.

"I'm sure that, once you've explained everything, the rest of the Glee Club will forgive you and welcome you back with open arms," she said. "Well, after all the obligatory I-told-you-so's, of course."

"Of course," I sighed.

That was one thing I wasn't looked forward to – having to prove the whole Glee Club right.

_I was back with Vocal Adrenaline. Back where I belonged, apparently. But I wasn't even speaking to my teammates outside of rehearsals. In fact, I was barely speaking to any of them even during rehearsals. I was focusing entirely on our number for Regionals. My mind was set on winning and nothing else. I was training harder than anybody and staying late after every rehearsal to practice. Coach Shelby was extremely pleased with my sudden burst of determination and encouraged everyone else to take a leaf out of my book if we really wanted to win. _

_But the truth was that I was only training so hard because it was a distraction. If I was busy thinking about song lyrics and dance steps then I wouldn't be thinking about Kurt. And if I started thinking about Kurt then I'd be too depressed to do anything other than cry. This wasn't the time for tears. Emotions had no place in a champion show choir. _

"_I see you're done sobbing over that silly little queen," said Giselle with a smirk, cornering me during our Red Bull break. "Good for you."_

"_I don't have anything to say to you," I said, my voice sounding cold. _

"_Now come on, Jesse," she said insistently. "What happened to forgive and forget?"_

_I just glared at her. Could she not just take the hint and leave me alone? _

"_You really need to relax a little, honey," she said, stepping a little closer to me. "I can think of a few ways to loosen you up."_

_She tried to rest her hands on my chest but I slapped them away. _

"_Don't touch me," I said slowly._

_I had to keep on repeating in my head that it was wrong to hit a girl. Even if that girl had it coming. _

"_For fuck sake, Jesse, what's wrong with you?" she said, looking outraged._

"You_ are what is wrong with me," I said. "Now take the hint and stop talking to me. Find someone else to be your fuck buddy."_

_I was about to walk away from her, but turned around and said "Oh, and you might want to try practicing your vocals a little more, Turner. You're starting to sound flat." _

_Luckily she stopped trying to talk to me after that, although I was getting a lot of dirty looks from across the choir room. I knew that this steely determination was making me seem cold and mean, but I was too unhappy to care. I wasn't sure what I was going to do after this year's show choir competitions were over, as rehearing was such a good distraction from my pain. Nothing was ever going to make me completely forget Kurt. He was the first and only person I had ever been in love with, I couldn't just pretend it had happened. I was sure that even after I went off to college in Los Angeles I'd never get over him. Other guys and other girls would most likely come along, but they'd never compare to Kurt. No one in the world was as perfect as him. _

_It was times like this that I wished I had a friend. A real friend, I mean. Sure, I had lots of acquaintances. I was extremely popular around the halls of Carmel High, but I didn't have any actual friends. I had no one who I could go and talk to, no one who really cared. I envied Kurt in that respect. He had lots of real friends who he could turn to in a crisis. I was sure that they'd still be there for him, even after everything I did to turn him against them. I really wish I had that. Instead I had nobody – no friends, no brothers or sisters, I couldn't even talk to my parents because they were never around. All I had was my own brain for company. Once the distraction of Regionals and Nationals was over, I was surely going to go insane._

_

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed, Humble Readers.  
Hopefully the next (and last) chapter won't take to long. *crosses fingers*  
Reviews are still very much equal to love, St. Hummel fans :)

xxx


	10. Life Goes On

IT'S THE END.  
Wow, it's like the end of an era.  
I can't believe this just started as a filthy little one-shot...

Anyway, this is set about a year later.  
I felt like Kurt and Jesse needed some closure and to get on with their lives and so on, so... yeah.  
It's only short, but I think it ends it all quite nicely :)

**REVIEWS ARE STILL VERY MUCH EQUAL TO LOVE. **

And I still don't own anything.

* * *

**St Hummel Smut Part Ten**

"Thanks for coming Christmas shopping with me, Blaine," I said.

"No problem," he said with a smile. "You said 'Christmas' and I was intrigued. You said 'shopping' and I got excited. And then 'with you' just sealed the deal."

We both laughed. "You can be so lame sometimes."

"You know you love it."

We walked into what felt like the hundredth clothes store, as I was desperate to find Carole the perfect blouse now that she was officially my step-mom, and so far nothing had been good enough. Amazingly Blaine didn't seem to be getting bored at all, although that may have been because he kept on trying to get me into a changing room. He had a thing about doing it in a public place and I had yet to fulfil that little fantasy of his.

"Blaine!" I said as he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around me, nuzzling my neck. "Blaine, stop it, we're in public!"

"So?" he said. "You know, you could just pick up something to try on and we can go into a changing room and..."

"For the millionth time, no," I said, trying to shrug him away. He didn't budge.

I noticed an old couple giving us a dirty look as they walked past. A part of me wanted to push Blaine away out of embarrassment, but another part of me wanted to turn around and start making out with him just to piss that old couple off even more. Instead I settled for the healthy compromise – continuing to search through the clothes rail while Blaine continued to kiss my neck, acting as if there was nothing out of the ordinary going on at all.

I finally managed to find a blouse that was perfect for Carole, so we went to a record store to see if I could find a nice Classic Rock compilation album for Finn. Blaine wasn't too pleased as there was no chance of him trying to drag me off into a changing room any more, but he soon amused himself looking through the 'Films and Musicals' section.

I was completely lost in trying to find the right CD. I was known for my excellent skill at gift buying, but Finn was just so awkward to shop for. I reached over for a CD, but my hand bumped into the hand of the costumer next to me.

"Oh, sorry," we both said in unison.

And then something in my head clicked. I knew that voice. We both looked at each other at the same time, realisation dawning on both out faces. It was Jesse, and he hadn't changed at all.

"_Jesse," said Kurt in surprise. "Erm... hi."_

"_Hey," I said, unable to believe my eyes. _

_We both smiled at each other in an awkward kind of way. It had been a year since we'd seen or spoken to each other. After... everything, it seemed right to just stop contact completely and get on with our lives separately. But he was always in the back of my head. No matter how much I tried to drown it all out with work and singing and rehearsals, he was always just... there. And now here he was, standing right in front of me and looking even more beautiful than I remembered. _

"_What, erm... what are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought you were at college?"_

"_Oh, I'm home for Christmas," I said. "Just getting a gift for my Dad."_

_There was a surprisingly comfortable silence, where we just looked at each other. He had gotten taller and slimmer in the year that we were apart, but he still had that gorgeous baby face. I was still yet to find anyone as perfect as him. Not the guy I hooked up with at that Halloween party, not that girl in my Acting class. No one. _

"_So... how are you?" he said, blushing a little at the lame question. "How's Los Angeles?"_

_I shrugged. "Not bad. I've been working hard, auditioning for a lot of shows and stuff. How about you?"_

"_I'm okay," he said. "Still at McKinley. Still with New Directions."_

"_So nothing's changed?" I said. _

"_Well..." He blushed a little harder. I'd forgotten just how adorable he looked when he blushed. _

"_I hope I'm not interrupting anything..."_

_A guy with short dark hair and really pretty greenish brown eyes had walked up to us, his gaze flicking between me and Kurt with a clear look of confusion and suspicion. _

"_Blaine," said Kurt, his voice sounding higher and his face getting redder. "This is... er, this is Jesse. Jesse, this is Blaine, he's my..."_

"_I'm his boyfriend," said Blaine, extending hand to me with a smile that didn't quite reach his pretty eyes. "It's a pleasure to meet you."_

"_Pleasure's all mine," I said, shaking his hand with an equally fake smile. "I'm his ex-boyfriend." _

"_Really?" he said, his fake smile getting wider. "Kurt's never mentioned anything about you." _

"_That doesn't surprise me," I said. "Things between us didn't end so well." _

"_What a shame," he said, his words dripping in sarcasm. _

_Kurt was blushing harder then I'd ever seen, looking nervously between us as if Blaine and I were about to start throwing punches any second. _

"_Well, this has been... uncomfortable," I said. "I'll just leave you guys to it. It was really nice seeing you again, Kurt."_

"_Yeah," he said with a self-conscious smile. "It was nice and... not at all weird or awkward seeing you too, Jesse."_

_We smiled at each other one last time before I walked away. Why was I so surprised that he had a boyfriend, especially such a gorgeous and obviously rather protective one? It wasn't like I expected him to stay miserable forever after all I did to him, but... I don't know. I hadn't ever really moved on, I guess. Sure, I'd been with other people but I hadn't found anybody wonderful enough to truly replace Kurt, meaning no relationship lasted more than a few days. But Kurt had found someone new, someone that made him happy, and it was exactly what he deserved after all the shit that I put him through last year. Maybe it would happen for me too eventually. But still, it was hard seeing him with someone else. _

_But life goes on, I suppose. And there's nothing anyone can do about it. _

"He seemed nice," said Blaine, glaring at the back of Jesse's head as he walked away. "How come you never mentioned him before?"

"It's complicated," I said, my stomach twisting uncomfortably at the memories.

"But what did he mean about you guys ending badly?" he asked. "What happened?"

"It's a really, really long and depressing story that I'd rather not go into right now," I said. "It's all in the past, let's just forget about it."

"Consider it forgotten," he said with a smile, wrapping his arms around me. "Now hurry up and find a CD for Finn so I can finally get you alone. I don't think these small-minded costumers would appreciate me ravishing you in the middle of the store."

I laughed, kissing him quickly before pushing him away so I could carry on looking for Finn's Christmas present. Blaine had a wonderful way of helping me forget unpleasantness. I hadn't given my failed relationship with Jesse a second thought since I'd met Blaine. Not until I'd bumped into Jesse himself just then. But I was happy now with Blaine, happier than I had ever felt in my entire life. It was passionate, but not in the intense kind of way that it was with Jesse. It was more about love, real love, than lust. Yes, the sex was amazing, but we didn't jump right into it. It took us forever just to admit our feelings for each other, even if you could cut the sexual tension between us with a knife from the moment we saw each other. Everything was just right with Blaine, it was real and managed to be flawed and complete perfection all at the same time. The past was, well... _the past. _

Life goes on, I guess.

* * *

Wow.  
It's over.  
No more.  
The end.  
Thanks for sticking with it, Humble Readers.  
Throw some reviews at me.  
I love you all.

xxx


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